June 29th -- weight yesterday 220.0; this morning 119.6 -- This is looking like progress.

I haven't been exercising. Used having a guest as my excuse but that wasn't valid. She wasn't even staying in the house and didn't come over early in the mornings which is when I am supposed to exercise. It is so easy to get out of exercising and so hard to establish the habit. Tomorrow morning I have got to start again.

For a couple of days, almost by accident, I didn't eat for most of the day. That flies in the face of conventional wisdom which says that breakfast is the most important meal of the day and must not be skipped -- and the belief that we really should eat 6 small meals daily. I did that when I was on a program a couple of years ago and I lost 50 pounds. But I am now 70ish pounds heavier than when I started that program. It claimed not to be a diet but for me it was and when the intensive "boot camp" period was over, I didn't eat to maintain the loss obviously! So back to my ignoring conventional wisdom. For 2 days I wasn't hungry for breakfast and didn't eat it. One of those days I enjoyed a Greek yogurt (chobani is the brand that I like) in the early to mid-afternoon. Then I had a dinner at night. My weight seems to have settled in just under 220 in response to that. I am drinking water like a fish too of course. I read somewhere recently that you should drink a quart of water for every 50 pounds of water weight. Following that recommendation, I would drink about a gallon +16 ounces. I'm coming close! It was interesting to see that some days I just don't seem to crave food so much. Yesterday I had a Greek yogurt about 11:00 and was quite hungry a couple of hours later so I had some left-over of a vegetarian dinner. I realized later that I could have been satisfied with about half of what I ate. This didn't induce guilt but was an interesting observation. Clearly I need to tune in to eating just to stop the hunger. I think that would lead to my eating what most people think is sufficient rather than my current gluttonous style.

One conclusion I'm considering in the pursuit of my own habits for health, is that I will do well to be very aware of my needs on any given day rather than trying to be bound by rules -- even of my own creation. So for a couple of days I had a yogurt in the afternoon and then dinner. This morning I had a breakfast and ate lunch out (late). I will either skip dinner or eat very lightly. I think over time I can get pretty good at knowing how much to eat and when.

Activity goals: continue drinking in excess of a gallon of water daily and re-start my fledgling exercise program. Continue to focus on how much to eat and when.

Tiny Reward

Weight: 219.8 -- This is such a lovely change. I went to dinner at Red Lobster last night. I'd checked the menu online before going and had the meal I'd planned, plus one biscuit. Instead of Caesar salad I had the garden salad with balsamic vinaigrette. I had maple glazed chicken with wild rice pilaf and asparagus instead of something heavier. To be rewarded this morning with the next lower decade is an encouraging surprise ;-).

The Head Game

Weight: 222.2 -- I've been stuck here for a few days now. Not a good sign.

I read a blog post about whether it is better to try to change habits one step at a time, or to leap in full force. The writer initially believed that making one change at a time is the way to go, but now makes a case for leaping in and changing all bad habits at a time. He suggests that the one-habit--at-a-time method, bringing about slow change, may set us up for disappointment and loss of motivation as the pounds come off slowly. Perhaps this is what I am experiencing. I seem to lose weight nicely for a few days each week and then add a pound or two, even when I think I'm still eating reasonably. I admit I haven't been doing my fledgling exercise routine for the last 3 days, and I have no good reason for that. The writer also said that if we try to change everything that is a bad habit, even if we fail at some, we probably change more habits than we would if we only changed one thing at a time.

Last night I watched a Biggest Loser finale and was touched as I always am, at the phenomenal dedication of the participants. They hold nothing back in the gym, at the table, anywhere. I have to admit I am not there.

So does anyone have good ideas about how to stay motivated and focused? I think that, for me at least, the biggest difficulty in losing weight and improving my fitness lies between my ears. I need help with the mental aspects of this pursuit.

Trying to establish habits

Weight today: 220.6 -- that's down .6 from yesterday.

Exercise: walked the driveway for the usual number of laps -- something over 1.25 miles. It is very hot and humid so anything outside just drains me. I plan to mow some this afternoon if the rains allow it. I did get to mow -- an hour in remarkably unpleasant weather but it looks good.

Eating was good today. No breakfast but lunch was reasonable and dinner was a seitan recipe which was tasty and filling.

I didn't do the resistance training and need to do it tomorrow to get back in the habit.

Taking Action

This morning's weight: 221.2 -- an improvement! Maybe it was all those vegetables.


I looked up recipes using seitan as a substitute for meat. Tomorrow's task: make the seitan and start trying new recipes.

Exercise: I did the 10 minute tape that I use as a warm up, then did about 15 minutes of lower body resistance exercise. Later in the day I found that there were large branches and lots of vines blocking the gate at the end of the driveway. It took an hour to hack and pull them out of the way so I got a bonus exercise session done.

Water intake has been good and food also reasonable. Tonight will be largely a re-run of yesterday's dinner; lots of veggies and some chicken breast.

Budding realization: I have become accustomed to expecting to feel full whenever I eat. I start to think I am hungry when I no longer feel full. It is disgusting to see that, but I guess I need to keep experiencing the ways I've "gone wrong" in weight loss/fitness. I must remember that I am working to establish life habits. I'm in this for the long haul.

This morning's weight: 222.4



It was May first that I decided to start my fitness pursuit by making small changes. The change I initiated that day was "no chocolate". I've done this in the past, most notably my "chocolate-free in '93" decision. I am just no good against chocolate. I have never had too much chocolate and rarely had enough. I've stuck to the no-chocolate change and have started others: no fast food meals, no more seconds at dinner, drinking lots of water (shooting for 100 ounces daily) and I've kept those changes.



A weight loss blog I read recently recommended weighing daily and taking a weekly average to check progress. For some reason that had never occurred to me. This morning I did weekly averages of my weigh-ins since May first. I don't like the results. The range is from 226.5 to 223.6. At this rate, it will take me 189 weeks to reach my goal!! That is just too far out to believe in. Clearly I need to make changes.



Ideas?

• Track my water intake daily.


• Track daily exercise.


• Track my food intake in some fashion.
  

I have logged and pre-planned my food intake in the past. I once lost 50 pounds, but immediately found it and 20 more. I know I don't want to repeat that and so I'm trying to develop life habits that will support weight loss, fitness gain, and eventually maintenance.

Today Catherine and I did another walk -- the same number of driveway laps, in 23 minutes. I'm doing well on water intake and the food has been good thus far.

Dinner was an experiment: roasted zucchini, squash, mushrooms, potatoes and sweet potatoes with chicken breast bits sauteed in a non-stick pan and pasta with a non-fat sauce. I'm not used to a half a plate full of roasted veggies and it felt, well, not filling. I think that is good. I'm going to concentrate on significantly increasing my vegetable intake.

Test of first post

It is time to make some changes. I am tired of being fat and all that being fat means. The purpose of my blog is to track my pursuit of self improvement. I hope the blog will help keep me accountable. My biggest focus is losing fat and increasing fitness but there are other areas of improvement which may also crop up here.

Today I bought fresh fruits and vegetables so that I can incorporate more of them into my diet. I've been reading about "flexitarian" eating; not entirely vegetarian, but a focus on increasing vegetable and fruit intake. I'm thinking that incremental changes are going to be the key for me. I don't want to go on a diet and I don't want to need to lose 80 pounds again, ever.

This afternoon Catherine and I went for a 25 minute walk. We walk up and down the long driveway. It was probably something over a mile and a quarter. It is shocking how much I feel that walk, but it is a beginning.